


If We Don't Die I Owe You Dinner

by cluelesspaladin



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, College AU, Fluffy Ending, Ghosts, Hunk is voluntold for things, Keith is a cryptid hunter, Lance is an astronomy student, M/M, Mothman references, Mothman's Boyfriend Zine, Owlman - Freeform, Pidge and Hunk are prosthetics/engineering/programming majors, Supernatural Elements, Zine piece, because reasons, cryptid AU, cryptid hunter au, getting together fic, keith is an art major, look the entire premise is Keith and Hunk explore an old building and find spooky shit inside
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-07-08 10:41:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19868269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cluelesspaladin/pseuds/cluelesspaladin
Summary: “I’m going to say it once- this place is creepy.” Hunk announced as the pair took in the massive wrought iron gates, the metal warped and overgrown with a thorough curtain of ivy and other foliage that was likely remnants of the days when the old hospital was open. “And you decide that this is a good place to come and hang out in at one in the morning.”“My impulse control is non-existent.” Keith shrugged nonchalantly.“I can tell.” Hunk sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose and wondering why his sense of commitment had to be so warped as to follow through with any of this.“I’ve got my knife, we’ll be fine.” Keith rolled his eyes, pausing as he looked over and saw the expression on Hunk’s face. “What?”“You have a knife.”“Yes?”“I should stop asking questions.” Hunk sighed. “I should really, really stop asking questions.”





	If We Don't Die I Owe You Dinner

**Author's Note:**

> I am so very thrilled to finally be able to share this piece with you! I had the wonderful opportunity to work with an awesome group of wonderful creators for this zine.

It began in the small diner off the main drag.

Once the pride and joy of their sleepy town of Altea Falls, it had grown into a hub of sleep deprived students from the local university. Though to be fair, _Shay’s_ was still the most popular joint in the entirety of the state- opened in the 1940’s by Shay’s great-grandmother by the same name, the place had changed very little over the years. (In fact, there was speculation that _all_ of the Shays in the family were, in fact, the same woman.)

The cheery neon sign in pink and white, letters in a lovely sky blue, still gleamed as brightly as they did in the old photos on the mint green walls. The checkered floor was unmarked, the tables all still in their original places, the cushions meticulously kept comfortable and clean.

And of course, there was Shay herself. Her age was a mystery to all who entered her diner- she welcomed all who required the hard drug of caffeine to survive their finals with a warm smile and an endless supply of dark roast coffee that some claimed to be from the gods. Dark cocoa skin remained unblemished, her eyes a green so light that in certain angles, they almost looked gold, dark hair wound skillfully into several twisting braids that knotted above her giant gold earrings. She always wore a dark green tunic that tucked into her cream apron and blue jeans- _always_.

It was yet another reason for the sleep-deprived folk who frequented the diner to bow to their presumed immortal goddess of food and move on with their lives.

It began one crisp autumn evening, in which the dreaded mid-term exams were dawning upon the Altea University students. The diner was just beginning to fill with the usual all-nighter crowd, and one particular crew had already made themselves well at home along the far walled tables.

Pidge muttered something unintelligible under her breath, surrounded by an array of textbooks, notebooks and discarded pencils as she pulled in the tall glass of her peanut butter milkshake and took a long sip, brows furrowing deeply as she stared over the her personal domain of chaos. Her large rimmed glasses had fallen down to the tip of her nose in her thorough investigations over the last half hour, and her hair was sticking up in several directions from running her hands through the dark blond strands.

“You going to take it slow on the PB milkshakes, Pigeon?” Lance inquired as he took a seat, throwing his book bag on the bench next to him and quirking a brow at the three other empty glasses that had been exiled to the furthest reaches of her space.

Hunk snorted, barely glancing up from his own, much more contained workspace at the brunette. 

“She’s been trying to figure out wiring for a hypothetical project for Ryner for… two hours and still hasn’t found an answer. Word to the wise, Lance- don’t test her.” He advised, flagging down Shay with a sunny smile. The dark haired woman waved back with a nod, already headed to the kitchen to put in the order.

The trio were regulars in the diner- Shay knew them all by name and knew their orders by memory, as she did with most of the regular crowd.

“Alright. And what are you working on, big guy?”

“Calculations for the hypothetical project for Ryner.” He repeated cheerfully.

Lance sighed and draped himself on the free table space dramatically with a pout.

“I hate that you two can’t tell me what you’re working on for the Olkari Project.” He complained.

“That’s because only the people working on it know what exactly we’re working on, Lance.” Pidge deadpanned. “It’s part of the charm of the program.”

“Your high-tech geek program that only you science-nerds get to know about via your department head? Yeah, okay.”

“There, there, buddy. You get to do cool stuff for the Garrison.” Hunk encouraged, patting him on the shoulder with his free hand. “And you’ve been accepted into the scholarship for next term, right? That’s awesome!”

“Yeah, that’s true! And for once I get to one-up Mullet. He always gets to be the popular one because he’s Kolivan’s favourite in English Lit. And his Painting course. And Photography.”

“Oh no. Keith excelling at something in the _program he’s taking_. Whatever will we do.”

“That’s enough of your sass, young lady!” Lance huffed, straightening up and crossing his arms. “Anyway, you did tell Mullet I couldn’t make it next weekend for his thing, right?”

“Oh yeah, I did. By the way, Hunk, I volunteered you to go out with Keith next weekend for an outing. He gets spooked sometimes and needs company.”

“Huh?” Hunk blinked, pen pausing in his scribbling as Shay arrived with a shining white plate of food- the classic burger and hand cut French fries, with coleslaw on the side.

“Try not to inhale it too quickly, Lance.” She scolded gently as she set it down in front of him. “It’s hot.”

“Thanks, Shay.” Lance praised reverently.

“You’re welcome.” She beamed, tucking a strand of dark hair behind her ear before nodding at the other occupants at the table and turning easily on her heel, her other hand holding a fresh pot of coffee for the next table over.

“Rewind a second, here. I could have sworn you just said that you volunteered me for one of Keith’s odd projects that he tells no one about and vanishes into the woods during the weekend for?” Hunk cocked a brow, staring across the table at Pidge.

“Oh, I did.” She replied airily, crying out a laugh of victory as she huddled over her notebook a second later.

“And you and Lance both know what he does out there. And that I don’t know Keith very well?”

“I think I just said as much to the first part of your statement.” She rolled her eyes, finally putting down her pencil to recline and rub tiredly at her eyes. “God, that took way too long to come up with an answer for.”

“And what if I said no?”

“You, Hunk, precious ray of sunshine and love? Say _no_ to something? Say it isn’t so.”

Hunk scowled at the tiny female, but given the amount of sugar she had ingested at this point, she had surpassed all mortal constraints of empathy and had landed right in the land of _totally-unimpressed-by-everything_.

-

“Alright, you remembered to grab the maps out of the glovebox, right?”

Hunk grunted some kind of agreement as he nearly tripped over another hidden root in the thick underbrush, his yellow and orange pack rattling ominously with the larger, heavier gear that Keith couldn’t fit into his own.

“Yeah. Love the color coding, by the way. Really interesting, the way you triangulated all of the data based on your other…. Outings.”

Keith couldn’t help his snort at the wariness in Hunk’s tone at having to say ‘outing’. Not that he could entirely blame the guy.

He had to give him some credit- when Pidge had volunteered Hunk instead of Lance or herself (she was currently in the midst of a midterm crunch deadline, and had all but barricaded herself into her nook in the Programming building three days ago), and Lance had a last minute flight simulation, he had had several reservations.

One, he didn’t know Hunk that well. He knew that Pidge had met him through their scholarship program and that they were currently working on some top secret prosthetics project under the guidance of the head of their department and was apparently one hell of a cook.

Two, he later learned that he and Lance (whom Keith had met through some rather unconventional circumstances that he would rather forget) were roommates and known each other since they were kids.

Three-

Okay, so he only had a couple of reservations. He would come back to that later.

“I did some digging into the local papers.” Keith offered in explanation. “Looked for anything to do with weird incidents in the area, where they were, when, what time. Then all I had to do was map it out based on gender, type of sighting, type of encounter and cross reference them against each other.”

“That’s impressive.” Hunk admitted as he glanced over the paper in his hand, the other holding a small LED flashlight attached to his keychain. “This probably took forever to put together.”

So far, Hunk was managing to keep his reservations about this whole process to himself. Never mind that Keith was an eccentric Arts Major who was currently dragging him through some god forsaken forest in the middle of nowhere at… _11:29pm_.

Why?

So that he could finish writing a paper on local myths and legends for his World Mythology course that was also apparently an actual degree and fully supported by the university faculty.

Who knew?

The part that had Hunk on edge was the actual and true belief Keith had in these legends. On the drive out, he had been enthusiastically regaling Hunk on the complexities of Mothman, the dark haired man gesturing animatedly over the steering wheel as he did so.

Having known Lance so long, Hunk was rather used to using words like “adorable”, “cute”, and “beautiful” to describe members of both genders, so he was entirely willing to go so far as to call an animated Keith _cute_. Especially with his long hair pulled back into a tail and his big, black rimmed glasses that were simultaneously disproportionate yet complimentary to his features.

(This was in no way regarding the fact that the guy was wearing a _two-sizes-too-big-shirt_ with a fluffy looking creature proclaiming “Mothman Believes In You!”, a pair of fingerless gloves and a pair of scruffy looking jeans that somehow made him look like he’d just stepped off a runway, either.)

The only thing that was _really_ odd about Keith’s image, Hunk supposed idly, was the ridiculous fanny-pack esque thing that he had around his waist. Definitely practical, but odd.

Artists and oddity seemed to go hand in hand.

“So Lance didn’t agree to come out with you because…?” he inquired, stepping around a small boulder and shuddering as he walked directly into a spider web. Grunting, he swiped at the clingy strands of silk on his cheeks, still keeping an eye on Keith.

“ _Apparently_ he’s too busy working on some kind of “top secret mission” tonight out at the Garrison Station.” Keith rolled his eyes. In the gloom of the forest canopy, the faint gleam of moonlight was the only thing Hunk could use as reference to note such fact without shining his flashlight directly into Keith’s eyes. “Realistically, he’s just interning and trying to make it sound cooler than it is so he can goad me into another argument later.”

“Sounds about right.” Hunk agreed after a moment of thought. Lance did seem to have some kind of love/hate relationship with Keith- always had, actually. He’d never found out the exact nature of why or when, but after meeting Keith, he wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to know.

Anyone who was interested in cryptozoology was probably best left to their own devices.

“So uh, thanks again. For coming out with me tonight. Pidge probably volun-told you instead of asking like I said.” Keith said after several more moments of quiet. He rubbed the back of his head and chuckled. “Not going to lie, I didn’t really want to come out to this place on my own.”

“And where exactly is that, again? I don’t think you actually mentioned where exactly you’re taking us.”

It wasn’t a far stretch to say that Hunk was a tiny bit concerned about wandering around the woods in the middle of the night, especially when he had no idea where they were going and Keith was already proving to have his eccentricities.

“You’ll see.” Keith replied cryptically, and oh, did Hunk see the joke hidden in that statement.

“I bet I will.” He muttered.

-

“I’m going to say it once- this place is creepy.” Hunk announced as the pair took in the massive wrought iron gates, the metal warped and overgrown with a thorough curtain of ivy and other foliage that was likely remnants of the days when the old hospital was open. “And you decide that _this_ is a good place to come and hang out in at one in the morning.”

“My impulse control is non-existent.” Keith shrugged nonchalantly.

“I can tell.” Hunk sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose and wondering why his sense of commitment had to be so warped as to follow through with any of this.

Keith didn’t even bother to look apologetic at that, instead slinging the pack on his shoulder around and setting it down on the mossy ground, using the light from Hunk’s flashlight to unearth his camera and set it up with a slightly alarming lens.

“So, there’s a chance that this place is haunted. By _what_ is why I decided to come out here. All of the sightings and attacks that took place around here were described as something corporeal, but ghosts don’t tend to be solid. So it’s either someone who decided to make a home out of an abandoned hospital from the twenties in the middle of nowhere, or it’s something else entirely.”

“I’ll take door number two.” Hunk muttered, flicking his light around the high bricked wall that stretched on into the dark as far as the eye could see. “Because our other option doesn’t sound promising.”

“I’ve got my knife, we’ll be fine.” Keith rolled his eyes, pausing as he looked over and saw the expression on Hunk’s face. “What?”

“You have a knife.”

“Yes?”

“I should stop asking questions.” Hunk sighed. “I should really, _really_ stop asking questions.”

Keith still looked slightly confused, but Hunk chose to ignore it in favour of moving forward and examining the gate. If there had been a lock, it had long since been removed, or rusted away to nothing, and the gate itself gave way as he pushed it with little resistance, an eerie creak from the hinges breaking the equally strange silence that surrounded the place.

It was clear that the grounds had remained untouched by anyone in quite some time. The once tamed gardens had long since overgrown their constraints. Thick, thorny rose bushes were only held at bay by the cracked brick path that led to the hospital doors. Other unidentifiable bushes and trees stretched in all directions in a twisted mess of dark shadows and sparking a deep feeling of unease in Hunk’s stomach as he warily looked around.

The light from the moon was clearer here, the trees keeping a wide berth on the exterior walls and the grounds illuminated by a frankly creepy pale glow. His flashlight illuminated some of the deeper crevices as he started down the pathway, the occasional flash from Keith’s camera the only other source of light and the soft sound of the shutter the only other noise that he could hear.

“So what’s the story behind this place? And _why_ is it out here in the middle of nowhere?”

“This used to be one of the most prestigious mental hospitals in America back in the twenties. Because of the types of people that they were keeping here, the hospital itself was built far enough away from the town that even if someone were to escape from the grounds, it was unlikely that they would make it back to the rest of the world.” Keith replied easily, not breaking his focus as he turned this way and that, documenting as much as he was able in the limited lighting.

“The guy that owned the place, Zarkon, was seriously messed up.” Keith continued. “He married his top nurse, Honerva Haggar- they eventually had a son who eventually became a patient- and a couple of years after that, everyone in the place died from a mysterious illness. From there, the rest is history. The hospital was shut down and locked up, and since everyone who knew about it is dead, no one actually knows where it was or how to get out here.”

“Until you somehow did.”

“And I’m not going to tell anyone how I did it, either.” Keith smirked, turning and snapping a picture of Hunk. He squawked at the flash of light, blinking in an effort to be rid of the starbursts that followed across his vision.

“Hey!”

“Sorry, couldn’t help myself.”

(He sounded the opposite of sorry, the jerk.)

“Just so we’re clear, if we don’t die via vengeful ghost of crazy nurse, you owe me dinner.” Hunk warned as they came to the massive front doors.

Solid oak and standing at ten feet in height, the massive barrier between the duo and the interior of the possibly _very_ haunted old mental hospital send prickles of ice down the back of his neck.

“…That’s fair.” Keith admitted after several long moments of thought.

“Good. Now that that’s out of the way, may as well get this over with.” Hunk exhaled, grasping the large, ornate door handles and twisting sharply.

The locks, brittle with their surfaces bared to the elements for so many years, snapped beneath his hands, one of the handles cracking and breaking off into his palm, biting into the sensitive flesh at the base of his thumb.

“Ow!” he hissed, shaking out his palm for only a moment before grunting and pushing against the doors, feeling the strain along his forearms and shoulders.

They didn’t go easily- they creaked and groaned against the ground, the foundation of the massive hall shifted and settling in the years that it had been left in its lonely mission against time. But with Hunk’s weight behind him, they slowly went, Keith looking on with something akin to awe.

Those doors were _heavy_.

And Hunk was making it look like it was easy.

Dear sweet lord, Keith was a weak, _weak_ man.

“After you.” Hunk announced once the doors had gone as far as they could go. There was a solid open space that showed little of what awaited them. Rather, the building beyond yawned before them like a gaping chasm of eerie shadows.

“Yeah.” Keith agreed, sudden apprehension gripping him. Sure, he’d been planning this trip for months, trying to figure out what could be out here, researching every detail that he could find, no matter how insignificant it seemed. This wasn’t just another paper, this was his passion, and he wasn’t about to back out now that he was being called on it.

His hands clenched a little tighter around his camera as he stepped past Hunk and into the grand entryway of the hospital.

The hall was, in fact, illuminated. Once, when the building had been whole, the walls stretched up into high, high ceilings. However, ivy seemed to have broken through from above, thick green strands coiling down and creating large gaps of open sky that showed the stars. Keith could just see part of the Little Dipper through one such gap, arching back with his camera even as he realized that the flash would do nothing in capturing the interesting perspective.

“So, now would probably be a good time to admit that I don’t do so well with dark, creepy old buildings, right?” Hunk said, eying the eerie corridor that stretched on before them, intermittent streaks of silvery light reflecting off of walls. “Also, I hardly see how there was a need for all of these really high creepy ceilings. Just saying.”

As if to punctuate his statement, there was a long, low moan of shifting beams above them.

“It’ll be fine, Hunk.” Keith reassured. “The place has been boarded up for years. It should still be structurally sound.”

The universe, infinite in wisdom and ever prepared to prove a point, manifested itself in a headboard above a near door crashing to the floor spectacularly. The sound echoed in the quiet corridor, and Hunk raised a brow, distinctly unimpressed.

“Okay, fine. So the place isn’t as sturdy as I thought it was. We just have to be careful.” Keith slumped, a pout pulling at his lips.

“Yeah, okay.” Hunk rolled his eyes. “I should have brought a damn baby leash if I knew you were going to be as bad as Lance.”

“I am not!” Keith protested hotly.

Another deadpan stare from Hunk.

“He started it.” He relented, petulant.

Hunk sighed, rolling his eyes as he started forward, his flashlight swooping around to illuminate the delicate tiling along the walls and the heavy wood panelled floors. Despite their worn appearance, they seemed to be in reasonably good shape. With any luck, his foot wouldn’t go through a floorboard unexpectedly.

Hopefully.

He was allowed to hope, okay?

“So, dare I ask what got you so interested in cryptids?” he asked instead, cautiously poking his head around an open doorway, flashlight illuminating what appeared to be an old sitting room. Of course, the windows that had been whole at one point had been cracked and broken by wayward plant life, but it was pretty neat to see how the surrounding area was taking back the old building. “I mean, I respect that everyone has their interests, but why _cryptids?”_

“My dad used to tell me local myths and legends as bedtime stories when I was a kid. Turns out when you’re that young and impressionable it sticks with you into adulthood.” Keith chuckled, pausing in his detailed camera clicking to flash Hunk a beaming smile.

_Why is he so pretty?_ Hunk mentally lamented as he felt his cheeks heat up.

“What about you? What got you into Engineering? That’s the program you’re doing, right?”

“Yeah, it is.” He confirmed. “And I mean, I always wanted to be a mechanical engineer for the space shuttles for the Garrison when I was a kid. Turns out that means you actually have to _go_ to space, and I get pretty bad motion sickness as is. So I had to find another alternative. Luckily, Ryner’s the head of the department and offered me a scholarship if I partnered with another student of hers.”

“So that’s how you and Pidge met?” Keith grunted as he adjusted his glasses further down on his nose, peering through his camera lens like it had personally offended him before holding down the shutter and taking several burst shots, the flash going off like fireworks.

“Nah. We met in first year when we were in a couple Biology and Engineering courses together. But she managed to keep her work for Ryner quiet until second year when I got accepted into the Olkari program on scholarship.” Hunk shook his head, stepping around an unidentifiable potted plant that was less pot and a lot more plant.

“That’s pretty neat.” Keith hummed, glancing back at Hunk again. “Hey, did you-“

Whatever the other man was about to say was cut off by a sound drifting down the corridor. It sounded- well, Hunk didn’t know what the hell it sounded like, but every hair on the back of his neck was immediately standing on end.

“Please tell me that was not a really creepy sound that may or may not be the vengeful spirit of an angry nurse from the twenties.” Hunk inhaled through his nose, closing his eyes and attempting to throttle the chilly knot of anxiety that had formed in his chest.

“Uh….”

“Yeah, nope. Figured. My luck is never that good.”

Another cry echoed down the hall toward them- and it sounded much louder than it did the first time.

Not that it seemed like a good idea in the first place, but it was right about now that Hunk was seriously reconsidering several of his most recent life choices. The most recent being the agreement to come out into the woods to a haunted mental institution with a guy he barely knew who was pulling out a knife-

_Where the quiznak did he keep that thing?_

“Keith, you are _not_ going to go after whatever that thing is!” He hissed, grabbing the dark haired man by the scruff as he started down the hall. Frantically, his head swivelled around, coming to settle on the nearest door. “This way!”

He lunged in the opposite direction that Keith was trying to head- _seriously, you are not going to fight a ghost, Keith!-_ shouldering open the doors and forcing the smaller man ahead of him so that he wouldn’t be able to charge back the way they’d come.

“Uh, Hunk…?”

“What, Keith?”

Distracted by looking behind them, Hunk had failed to consider that if it really were a ghost, it could just move through walls.

In the much narrower hallway, there was no mistaking the figure of the woman standing before them.

She stood straight-backed before them, gleaming amber eyes staring at the pair dismissively. At one point, she would have been considered a classic beauty. But high cheekbones had sunken in, long hair that had once been held up by pins now hanging in silver sheets to her waist. She wore a white high collared shirt that cinched in tightly at the waist, a thick black skirt hanging heavily to the floor, and an equally heavy apron tied at the back with strange stains and markings marring the surface.

Hunk was _really_ hoping none of those stains were blood.

“That wouldn’t happen to be the head nurse, would it?” Hunk asked weakly, feeling far too lightheaded.

“Yep.”

Keith sounded as faint as he did, but he still gamely brandished his knife at the woman.

She bared sharp teeth in amusement, a high, reedy cackle leaving her lips as she cocked her head, suddenly eying them both with much more interest than she had a moment prior.

_“And what do we have here?”_ she cooed, one ghostly foot stepping forward. _“New patients? Excellent, most excellent… my quintessence stores have been depleted for far too long.”_

“Keith?”

“Go!”

Hunk dragged Keith along with him as he did an abrupt about face, breaking into a sprint that was echoed by Keith. Behind them, an enraged howl tore after them, the walls rippling as a biting wind chased them down the hall.

It was nothing short of a miracle that the next turn they took was down a straight stretch, a flight of ornate stairs waiting at the end of the hall. Keith seemed to have realized that a fight against a creepy ghost nurse was one he wasn’t about to win- now he was quickly beginning to outpace Hunk as they sprinted down the dark carpet. 

Phantom claws grabbed at their heels, another howl echoing after them, but neither dared look behind them as Keith, then Hunk, vaulted up the first several stairs, adrenaline fueling them as their feet pounded against dusty steps.

Heart pounding in his chest, Hunk lost count of the twists and turns and stairs that they seemed to keep climbing. Keith seemed to be following an inner compass that led them surely upward, face steeled in concentration.

_“Little pets… running will only tire you.”_

“Keith!”

There was a flash of steel in the dark hallway, followed by an animalistic snarl of pain that seemed out of place with the silvery flesh that recoiled from where claws had been about to sink into Keith’s shoulder.

Fueled by sheer instinct, Hunk veered sharply around the next corner, turning and reaching for Keith even as he groaned in exasperation.

Keith- _seriously, what was wrong with this guy?_ \- had paused to take several more pictures around the corner, despite it not being the time at all for such shenanigans.

“Your survival instincts suck!” he growled, yanking him along once again.

“I did tell you I have _zero_ impulse control!” Keith snapped back, stumbling for a moment before correcting himself.

“Can we work on that while we’re _not_ running for our lives?”

_“Fine!”_

They continued their headlong race up the stairs for several more moments before the end came into sight. Keith made it first, darting into the high ceilinged attic space moments before Hunk. Relief flooded him for all of three seconds before he felt sharp, icy claws embed themselves into his ankle and drag him backwards with a cry.

“Hunk!”

A shriek pierced the air as he landed, sparks dancing in front of his eyes as he lay there with the world spinning around him in an array of colours. His ears rung from the force, and as something whirled overhead he ducked out of instinct.

Consciousness was fleeting, swimming just out of reach until hands tugged at him gently from his foetal position and carefully prodded him into an upright position.

“Hunk, are you okay?”

Keith- he sounded alright, thank goodness.

“You owe me dinner.” Hunk groaned, leaning against where he thought Keith was.

“I think that’s a yes? Come on, you’ve got to get up. You’re never going to believe this.”

“The nurse was actually a princess cursed to be an evil witch who tries to kill college students who come out to explore the old mental asylum in the middle of the woods? Would never have guessed.” He drawled, prying open his eyes and muttering something that was not suitable whilst in the presence of company.

Keith snorted as he carefully checked Hunk over. His camera was miraculously still intact around his neck despite everything. Granted, his glasses had cracked across one side, his hair had fallen out of the tail that he’d had it pulled into, and there were a couple nasty looking scratches on his cheek, but otherwise he seemed to be no worse for wear.

Hunk stiffly made it upright, his body informing him that he did, in fact, have muscles and bones that he didn’t know he had, and that he had likely bruised every single one of them on his less than graceful descent down a flight of stairs.

“Come on.” Keith encouraged, leading him back up the flight of stairs and out into the attic.

The roof from this angle was very clearly in disrepair, massive holes opening up to the open sky and tendrils of ivy only just beginning to breach the uneven edges. But that clearly was not what Keith was trying to draw his attention to.

No, that honour went to the layers of massive nests that covered the floorboards, hundreds of gleaming eyes watching them intensely, wings and feathers all that Hunk registered before the shock computed in his brain and he promptly fainted.

-

It could only have been a handful of minutes later that he came to again, greeted by Keith’s worried frown and a hulking, tawny feathered creature behind him.

“Keith,” he managed to ask evenly, “what is standing behind you?”

“Owlmen. Owlman? I’m not sure. All I know is that there’s more than one- they took care of the nurse’s ghost. Spirit. Apparition.”

Immediately, Keith’s features lit up, nearly vibrating in his excitement as the large creature- Owlman, made an odd cooing noise in the back of its throat, head tilting at an impossible angle to the side.

As he pushed himself into a more upright position, Hunk took in the impossible- by all means, _it should have been impossible_ \- sight before him. The cryptid, because that was exactly what it was, stood at least three feet taller than Keith, with gargantuan wings that were a creamy gold and amber, darker brown flecks smattered throughout. The broad chest and belly were covered in a thick layer of long, downy feathers; through the shadows cast by its wings, Hunk could see wickedly curved talons joined to what could only be described as paw-pads. Thick, powerful legs proportionate for a seriously large owl supported its weight, with a trio of claws adorning each foot and long feathery anklets drifting along the floor behind it. From his current angle he couldn’t see a tail, but he could definitely tell that it seemed to take after a Barn Owl in facial structure and coloring.

“Keith, did I die? Because I’m ninety percent certain that I died back there and this is a really, really weird afterlife. Also, none of this should be real and it is and holy crap I think I need to lie down again-“

He was also feeling nauseous, but that was a separate matter to be examined while he was trying not to completely melt down and turn into an anxious mess.

Caught up in his rambling, Hunk didn’t notice what the nearest Owlmen were doing until a squawking ball of fluff was deposited firmly into his lap. Of course, Hunk’s first instinct, given his symbiotic relationship with Lance, was to cradle the feathered thing to his chest.

“Holy crap.” Keith breathed, turning slowly to look over his shoulder.

Several of the larger, slimmer Owlmen had approached, each carrying a peeping ball of owlet in their long, dangerous looking beaks.

Slowly and with no shortage of caution, Keith grabbed his camera and slowly flicked off the flash, hoping to whatever deity might be listening that at least one picture from the night came out or he would never forgive himself.

This was life-changing proof that cryptids existed. Not only that they _existed_ , but there was more than one. This was an entire society of Owlmen. The only documented cases were in England. (Or at least the myth of the Cornish Owlman, which had turned out to be a massive breed of owl that some poor soul had the misfortune to meet on a dark and scary night.)

One of the Owlmen fluffed itself up at the sight of the camera, then relaxed as Keith offered it out for inspection first. Dark red eyes, so dark they almost appeared brown in the moonlight filtering through the rafters, settled on him.

Apparently satisfied with whatever it saw, the Owlman hunkered back down in its nest a handful of steps away from him, beginning to preen itself with barely another glance sent in Keith’s direction.

Letting out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, Keith raised the camera, peered through the lens, and took several quick photos.

Hunk was already beginning to relax under the onslaught of adorable owlets. Given their small size, few of the features that their parents had had begun to develop. This led to slightly larger than average owlets with several more talons than was entirely necessary. And each and every one of the… _twelve_ … fluffy chicks were utterly enraptured by Hunk’s hands as he smoothed down ruffled feathers and scratched under beaks.

Keith managed to catch a photo of the sight- bruised, tired, and yet still carefully tending to the delicate cryptid infants like they were puppies.

Not the worst way to end the night, if he was being completely honest.

A small smile tugged at his lips as a particularly aggressive owlet bodily heaved itself up Hunk’s shirt, nesting against the crook of his neck with a sleepy peep. However, the larger man hardly even flinched- rather, he tucked the little feathered creature more securely against his neck before continuing his ministrations with the others.

He had to hand it to Hunk- he was really made of something else.

-

It began in the small diner off the main drag.

Pidge was once again surrounded by paper carnage, a discarded milkshake glass just out of her destruction zone, pencils shoved behind both ears as she tinkered with a small piece of metal and wires with a screwdriver.

Lance had arrived a half hour earlier, already well established in his calculations for an upcoming simulation, bag draped carelessly over the back of his chair.

Shay had already been by twice with coffee for Hunk; he had had a late evening the night before, and with another project being assigned onto his already full schedule he was finding that the extra boost from the caffeine was much appreciated.

The bell above the door jingled, and Keith entered the diner, his portfolio case slung across his shoulder and nose covered in charcoal. Obviously, he’d just gotten out of his drawing class. Without pause, he approached the table, a wide grin stretching across his face as he pulled out a paper from his binder and dropped it down in front of Hunk as a hello.

“I got accepted!” he grinned, taking the seat next to Hunk as the other man picked up the thick stack of paper with a bemused smile. “Coran got in touch with the National Cryptozoology Database and they want to publish my paper!”

“Wait, is this the same paper that you wrote after the twelve hour bender you two took in the woods in a place that neither of you wish to share with the class?” Lance demanded, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at them. “Hunk, you didn’t get back until like, noon! _The next day!”_

“Well, Keith wanted to stick around and take more photos after he figured out that the creepy ghost of the place wasn’t coming back.” Hunk shrugged, sharing a fond look with said human. Keith’s cheeks flushed, the charcoal smudges standing out against his fair skin. “I just held the flashlight.”

And several other somethings that he wasn’t allowed to disclose until Keith’s paper was published, but he was sure that the wait would be worth it to see Lance’s face when he realized that not only had Keith discovered an entirely colony of Owlmen, but had documented them and written what was essentially a condensed novella on his and Hunk’s adventures of the evening, broken up by background information that Keith had dug up before the excursion.

But there were definitely several candid shots that Keith had taken of Hunk throughout the evening, which had added credibility to the whole scenario by a _lot_.

“I’m proud of you.” He smiled, reaching over to link his hand with Keith’s. “Good job, babe.”

Another development-

True to form, Keith had taken Hunk out to dinner following their messy excursion. (In reality it was more like breakfast, but for the sake of argument they called it dinner). Shay had quirked a brow at the disheveled duo, sat them down at the counter, and brought them coffee.

Since then, they had been nigh inseparable.

“Thanks, Hunk.”

The larger man tucked Keith neatly against his side, ignoring the dark blush that crossed his cheeks as he did so, and pecked the side of his head.

“Anytime.”

“Ugh. You two are unbearable.” Pidge muttered, blowing her bangs out of her eyes.

“You have some…” Lance added, gesturing vaguely to his lips.

Hunk shrugged, pushing down Keith’s hand as he went to make a rather inappropriate hand gesture in retaliation, a snicker coming from Pidge’s corner of the table as Lance sputtered indignantly. They bickered for a while longer before getting back to work, Keith and Hunk still leaning against one another when Shay returned with another shake for Pidge and a new pot of coffee for Lance and Hunk.

“Hey.” Keith said quietly as another group of chattering students came into the diner.

“Hm?” Hunk blinked, glancing out of the corner of his eye, finishing his sentence.

“I’m glad you got volun-told to come with me.”

“I’m glad I did too.” He grinned. “But seriously, no fighting ghosts with a knife. Like, _ever_ again.”

“You’re no fun.” The pout was tugging at his lips, but Hunk knew Keith was amused by the crinkle at the corner of his eye.

“You two are gross.”

“No one asked _you_ , Lance.”

As the pair started off again, Hunk shook his head with an amused huff.

_Keith, you adorable, sweet, charcoal covered knight in cryptid t-shirts… never change._


End file.
